


prayer

by EKmisao



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Drabble, Gen, Soliloquy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-05-05
Packaged: 2017-12-10 11:03:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/785324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EKmisao/pseuds/EKmisao
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello. I am EK. This is a very, very short thing, initially on tumblr. Inspired by 'Awake My Soul', by Mumford and Sons. I hope you like.</p>
    </blockquote>





	prayer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stormberry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormberry/gifts).



> Hello. I am EK. This is a very, very short thing, initially on tumblr. Inspired by 'Awake My Soul', by Mumford and Sons. I hope you like.

I no longer know who I am addressing on high: the Holy Father of my Lord Christ and God of the Trinity, or he who leads the assembled host of gods in the heavens. I no longer know. 

Whoever is there, I ask for wisdom. For I do not know how to be with this man who rules me now. 

They call my master a barbarian, but he is more civil and understanding than some holy knights. They call him a brute, but he leads with compassion. They call him a monster, but he knows how and what he kills. He is more christian than some christians I actually know. 

He could have chosen to kill me long ago, but he lets me live. He treats me as a slave, then he lets me care for his children. He lies to me openly, then he suddenly shows me the truth he does not show his own blood. He treats like one of his family, then he makes me stay in a corner. 

I wish to change him. He wants to change me. I want to be useful to him. He uses me like a beast of burden. I want him to understand my people and my beliefs. He pulls me into knowing his people and his beliefs. 

God or gods, I do not know what to do. 

I want to run away, from this mad yet organized, even civilized, land. I want to rain the fires of heaven on these killers. But then I don’t, and then I want to keep them safe from the madmen from my land who simply do not understand them. I want to run from this society of killers. I want to stay and protect this society that loves and cherishes its own, to the death. 

The God I know has kept me sane. The gods I know now have let me live. The saints I know have kept silent. The characters of Valhalla I have met have been interesting. 

Who do I keep serving? The one who does not answer, or the many who may answer with sudden death? The one who teaches mercy, or the many who give it to me every day? 

Take my life, oh heavens, whoever of you owns truly owns the skies and all life. Use it or end it. I don’t know what to ask anymore. I have nothing left to give. 

There is nothing I truly understand. 

Not anymore.


End file.
